Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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