guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize