she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize