i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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