Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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