I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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