I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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