Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
smell my finger.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize