So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize