We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize