Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize