It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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