We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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