I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize