This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize