Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize