you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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