Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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