dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize