But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
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No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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