There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
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That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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