i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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