mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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