sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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