nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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