Apparently you make a good broom.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize