As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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