We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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