Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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