i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize