My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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