I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
babies were throwing up all over the place
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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