If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
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Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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