My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize