need another drink. this is the easiest way
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize