I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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