Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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