My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
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I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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