my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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