Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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