Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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