i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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