Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize