dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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