if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize