If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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