She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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