I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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