I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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