once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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